For Your Viewing Pleasure

WOW， I dont know if this clip has hit the US yet, but this is pretty funny, it's a video of a Russian high jumper who just showed up to compete at a large competition(this track meet had both Bolt and Powell running in it) completely hammered. They say he had been drinking a mixed drink of energy drinks and vodka. Awesome.

Update:

I have discovered why those police officers were driving so slowly down the road the other day when I was riding my bike. We have entered the exciting portion of the year where farmers being to harvest their crops. Upon harvesting the farmers are left with a huge excess of stalks and husks that they wish to dispose of. The traditional method of disposal has been by burning them, which is fantastic as it adds to the already world renowned Chinese air quality. I remember my first year here where I would be jogging in the afternoon and notice that it had mysteriously become extremely foggy in just 15 minutes time. Then I would get choked out by the smoke and realize what was really happening as I coughed my way back home. Delicious.

This practice has been made illegal by the Shandong government in an attempt to cut down on the air pollution(thus the aforementioned slow moving police car on the country road), but as is often the case with legislation, it was a bit short-sighted and has created new problems. The farmers in China have very limited land, since the population is so enormous, and so there is no room on their plot of land to put the excess organic material to decompose. The government will remove it for the farmers, but for a fee, of course. Farmers in China, like farmers around the world do not have much of a disposable income. Most farmers in China, again like many farmers around the world, are attempting to use what limited resources they have to get their children through college, so that their children don't have to continue to do grueling labor for minimal economic benefits. So this new fee is something that is difficult for them.

Luckily the farmers have come up with an ingenious method to evade this problem. There are police cars that patrol the country streets making sure that burning doesn't occur(burning is now a fineable offense, yet another way to extract some money). Yet the crafty farmers patiently wait for nightfall, where, in the sweet embrace of darkness they can begin their work, for as we all know, fire is virtually undetectable under the cover of darkness!!

At least this system works for the farmers for now, until the government decides to stop it and force the police officers to be on call at night time, but it does suck to wake up in the morning and choke on smoke.

Manners Please

Labor day has passed (in the US) and the new school year has begun! We officially "opened study" on Monday. Exciting times as I wake from the spell of a summer of no work, just reading, walking and doing as I please... always hard to get back to work. And the thing that makes it hardest to get back to work around here is that I am always having to meet people for the first time. There is no way around here of having a group of friends and just, for the most part, sticking with it. You might develop a group of friends, but will be forced continually to add on superfluous relationships just because people want to say or feel as though they have a foreign friend. It reminds me of when Stephen Colbert was having a contest to find his black friend. Here I am every body's one black friend, except I'm white. Got it?

This morning I woke up at 5:30 and went to the school track in order to run a few miles before the day begins. This is my favorite time of day to be outside. It is generally quiet, the air smells clean (there is no coal burning overnight...yet) and the exercise fells good, invigorating me more than just physically. It can be a very peaceful time. One thing that generally separates a college campus in China from one in the United States is the fact that at this hour of the morning there are a good number of students out at the track jogging or walking to get an active start to the day. I know there were a lot of times that this was the hour that I was making my way home in college, but the curfews here curtail that. Regardless, I made it through about a lap and a half when I noticed that a boy who had been running in front of me had started walking and stretching his arms. I ran by him as normal and then heard that sound that I know so well and fear so much as I run. CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP!! I slowly and steadily hear the heavy footsteps of the boy as he approaches me from behind. I am familiar with this situation, in fact it probably happens to me about once in every 8 trips to the track(precision in statisticsis key). Probably a student looking for his opportunity to practice English, or show how polite Chinese people are. This morning, however, I am in no mood to chat with someone who I have never met before, and so as I hear his approach I cleverly step off to the side of the track and start stretching though I have already stretched. I look at him to make sure he is in fact following me, he was, right behind me, and I find that he is a little thrown by my move off the track, he finds himself unable to do anything but throw a wave at me and say in voice that I have no choice but to describe as slightly retarded, "Hiii!"

"whats up man." No one knows how to respond to my incredibly fluent English. When I throw out complex phrases like "whats up" out there it leaves even the most confident of students guessing, and I know this. Its the luxury I have of having such an extensive vocabulary. I could even throw a "Whats going on," or "Hows it going," out there if I have to.

Anyway I stretch some more, let the kid get ahead of me by half a lap and then try to continue on my way, determined to get some exercise. Yet I discover as I have made my way around the track that the kid is walking and stretching his arms again. I'm thinking, no way buddy, same move?? Yes indeed, as I pass him this time I am serenaded yet again with the CLOMP CLOMP of his footsteps. He must have ankle weights on... training, definitely. Regardless as he is approaching I pass two young girls and then hear from behind an audible yelp of surprise that sounds something like Scooby Doo when he smells a Scooby Snack, though less gruff. Then they banter back in forth in Chinese trying to guess my identity. I have by this time started walking again and moved off of the track, and I hear the boy who was tracking me join in on their conversation, as he clearly has to no reason to run anymore, since I, his main competition, has left the track. At that point I decided to abandon the track area, and so two laps later, instead of getting any exercise in I find myself glued to a computer screen, finding consolation in a couple spoonfuls of Peanut Butter and a piping hot cup of Green Tea .

This mornings episode calls to mind what occurred to me last night. Outside of my house there are conveniently located a few pull-up bars, and other exercise apparatus' that I have no idea how to use, but I swear to god that one of them is a steering wheel of a car. I feel like I am back at the playground at HCS. I went out at about 8 PM Beijing time, last night to do some pull-ups and continue my battle against the pouch that finds its way settling into my belly. As I am doing these exercises I discover that there is a man that appears to be looking repeatedly over in my direction. But it is dark out, so I consider myself safe. I still cut my session a bit short, and make my way back out into the light(Oh, the dreaded light!) as I cross the street back to my apartment complex. As I am crossing the street in the back ground I kind of hear something, but I don't really pay attention, until finally as I am about to make my way into my building I here someone scream out "HEY!" and I am startled into looking. I don't see anything but I hear a frog-like voice emanating from the shadows saying in English, "Hey man, please come here, hey!" I felt like I was on an after-school special teaching about the dangers of crack dealers or child molesters. Needless to say I didn't make the trip across the street.

The examples are too numerous to mention, like last year when I was walking down the street for the first time at my new school and a guy came up to me like we were old friends and was like(again clearly in English)，“hey." I said hey and then after a minute of him talking to me I was like, "I'm sorry do I know you?" and his response was of course, "I know you, you are 28 years old, right?!" Clearly proving to me that he was a trust worthy and well informed friend. This behavior is so common that it creates a strange atmosphere of paranoia for me at times where as I was walking back home today I heard footsteps approaching from behind me and I swung around ready to bring the hammer down on some little kid who was running by me bc he was late for class. The weird thing about all of this is these actions aren't seen as weird, or possibly bothersome by many people here, they feel as though they are being polite.

And I am sure that some people who read this are like, why not just talk to the guys? Whats the harm? Yet imagine if every time that you leave the house you were to have no idea whether or not you might be forced to have a conversation with someone you don't know, describing where you are from, why you are living in the area you are living in, and some other random topic like the weather, all in incredibly broken English that inevitably will conclude with, "I want to be your friend!! Can I have your mobile phone number?" That sucks, so I avoid it as indirectly as possible, though sometimes it is unavoidable in order to keep Chinese from thinking all foreigners are dicks.

The thing that is strange to me is the idea that forcing yourself on someone is polite. Now, as I have mentioned before, I am a well established bastard in the Shandong area, so I may be mistaken, but it is my understanding that being polite is to truly communicate with a person, and based on the information that they provide you finding a way to help them or make them more comfortable. Too often around here I am thrown into the arms of blind politeness, where people see me as a foreigner and already assume that they understand my circumstances. Obviously, since I am a foreigner in China, I am lonely, looking for a friend, unable to communicate in any way with the natives, and pretty much helpless. So this calls for people at all times of day to approach me and help me by talking to me to alleviate my loneliness, and offer to help me to buy things at the supermarket, where all you need to do is pick out what you want and bring it to the cash register. So many people will walk up to me on the street and out of the blue ask me, "Do you need help?" and I am like, Jeez, do I look lost or something? People just assume that because I am foreign that I need help, and so they politely offer it, unintentionally perpetuating the process of slowly suffocating me of my personal space.

It would be like inviting a vegetarian over to your house and attempting to convince them to eat meat because you have been trained to think that meat is necessary to live a healthy life. Perhaps you are sure that you are being polite from your own limited perspective, you are attempting to offer them something that you find delicious, and trying to help them live what you believe to be a healthier lifestyle. But the truth is that from the outside perspective of the vegetarian this isn't polite at all, and in fact is bothersome. If true communication were to occur between the two parties it would be a different story, one where perhaps a friendship could develop and all could learn something, but that would require listening, which sadly in my experience occurs too infrequently.

In have read rave reviews about all of the volunteers in Beijing that helped tourists during the Olympics, and secretly I cringe. In that atmosphere, where 90 percent of the foreigners that are in that area are tourists with no knowledge of Chinese, it is logical for people to go up and try to help people. Tourists would also often like to get a chance to speak with natives at random times, since their time is limited to get a feel for the life of that area. Yet it is that festive atmosphere that later gets broadcast into the public of Shandong and later makes its way into my life, only around here it is neither helpful nor festive. To assume that I am a tourist or lost because I am white is as silly as assuming that I speak English because I am white(I often tell people I am Russian, shuts people up pretty quick).

This turned into a longer rant than expected. I have no way of venting these frustrations to my Chinese friends since they have difficulty understanding my perspective, and so I am forced to blog my face off for survival. One more spoon of Peanut Butter thank you very much!

Home of the free?

Today as I was riding my bicycle into town on a country road I came across a police car moving at an extremely slow speed, it had its emergency lights on. There were four men, all officers inside of the car, and the car was going slow enough that I was actually able to pass it on my bike. After a few minutes I felt a car slowly approaching me from behind, I knew it was the police car... I prepared myself for what would happen next, since I have had to deal with this a few times since arriving here. The cop car pulled up slightly in front of me, surely enough the officer riding shotgun peered his head slightly out the window. He looked at me for a moment, then broke into a goofy grin and shouted "HALLOOOU?!" The car moved forward at a slightly faster speed, fast enough to out-distance me, as in the back one officer punched another on the arm laughing and the driver patted his partner on the shoulder for a job well done.

"What's up guys... keep up the good work." Its easy to see why there are so many movie scenes where incompetent, arrogant cops get the crap beat out of them by heroes and villains alike.

One of the things that struck me as I was riding the bike afterwards though was thinking about the fact that the whole time that the cop car came up at me from behind I was never for one second nervous. I never once got that strange sick feeling that you sometimes get when you see a cop car while driving in the US, as you check every gage in the car to make sure that you aren't committing some kind of fineable offense. This is because over my time here I have come to discover that a cop car in China really has no significant meaning. The built in siren does give the cop car the ability to be louder than other cars on the road, but other than that, it really means nothing.

Chinese traffic is crazy, and it can be quite scary. There have been a number of times that I have been riding in taxis and have been nervous for my life. All of the sudden the taxi may approach a cop car from behind as it speeds along. At this point the American in me relaxes a bit thinking, "whew, there is no way this guy will continue to take the ridiculous chances he has been taking with a cop car around, safe for now at least," when all of the sudden the driver will whip across a divide into oncoming traffic in order to speed pass the cop car that has thoughtlessly been impeding his way. The officers in the car don't even blink, they take the next left hand turn and continue about their business. At first this was mind boggling to me, until I began to get used to it.

One of the things that this made me think about a lot was what we consider freedom. It is the basic notion by most people in the USA(myself included) that America is the freest country in the world, and that China is lacking in freedom, being dominated by an authoritarian government. Yet in some ways, life in China is freer than that in the US, it is just a matter of perspective.

Traffic rules are one example, though a dangerous one. And there are many more, in China there is no drinking age, and so it is normal to see 18-21 year olds drinking with their family at parties. It is possible for me in China to get a bus driver to stop for me at a place that isn't a standard bus stop if that is the more convenient place for me; I will even get a discount on the ticket since it's "illegal." People who don't have a huge amount of money are able to start up family business' to support their families, without having to go through all of the licensing regulations that United States business owners must go through, giving a small time business owner half a chance at success.

Now I am not saying that life is better in China than in the US, nor am I saying that the laws in the United States are illogical. I understand the reasons America has the laws that they do. But I think that its important to see that there are limitations to living in any country, and that freedom, many times, is simply a matter of perspective. China is often criticized for depriving its citizens of basic freedoms, yet there are times when I talk with students about certain laws that the United States has, and they are stunned to find that Americans can live with such strict law enforcement. Driving would be one example, along with some of the laws that United States has on child rearing and hitting children. The point here of the Chinese was not that hitting children was justifiable, but it just seemed so strange to them how American law enforcement could become involved with the internal matters of a family.

What China gets criticized most about is its lack of freedom of speech for the press and the citizens of the country. I also find that in my personal life I feel the dredges of the long arm of Chinese bureacracy. Entering and leaving the country can be difficult. If I travel anywhere I always have to bring my passport so that people can register me. I am unable to take part-time work in my spare time, because my contract explicitly states that I cannot.

What is the reasoning I am given every time I run into one of these inconveniences. Saftey!! I can't take another job because there are people who could "take advantage of me," (though I have been here for over three years now, and speak the language.) it is to protect me. Why must I register with a passport everywhere I go? So that someone knows the last place I was in case something happens to me. Entering and leaving the country is difficult to protect the citizens of the People's Republic. Censorship too is rationalized as being for the safety of the people. Disagreeable political content is censored so as to avoid any possibility of a small group of people upsetting the peace that this nation has worked so hard to construct. Sexual content is censored from movies because it is the job of the wise men( and they are men, believe me) in the government to assure that the younger generation is not led by scandalous(western*) sex scenes into temptation.

But doesn't this sound familiar? Why does America have the drinking age? For the safety of young inexperienced minors. Why does America have a stricter immigration service than China? For the safety of the Citizens of the United States. Why is Washington honestly considering allowing people to tap anyone's phone in the country? Safety!

I don't at all defend the actions of the Chinese government. Their censorship and limitations are maddening, especially as a teacher trying to work with students creatively. (It is also maddening when trying to watch satelite feed basketball games back home when the internet firewall won;t let me access NBA.com on that day) The thing to keep in mind is that this idea of freedom is a relative thing. What we condsider to be free is more what we become accustomed to through experience rather than a tangible phenomenon of FREEDOM that can be created.


Is the United States really a much freer country than China, as time goes on I think it is harder and harder to say. There are many rules here, but there are many rules in the United States too. The cultural, sociological, and demographic realities of this area will make some of the rules different than in the United States, yet similar rules everywhere exist, for similar reasons.

A friend of mine, Johnson(thats his first name, absolute stud), said to me the other day when we were talking about government censorship, "The Chinese people are used to it." This is probably not be a good thing, because ideally it would be great if change could occur, but the main idea that he conveyed was an important one. Johnson loves his country and is proud to live here. Though there are things about China that are not perfect, these problems do not in general effect the daily lives of the people in this nation any more than the problems of the United States effect ours. Most of the people that I have met in China over my time here are content to be living here and aren't living under the repressive regime the US media often paints China to be, for they don't feel repressed.


Are they happy? Aahhh that is a much deeper question which I am incapable of answering. But I would recommend going into any bar in upstate NY on say a Tuesday night, and you would probably hear alot of the same comments that you might find from people on the streets here.


*So often in conversations with my students and friends I am bombarded with the fact that lascivious western influence is contaminating the purity of the previously saintly Chinese people. This type of thought (remarkably unfounded when you look at the history of prostitution and multiple marriage in this nation, as well as all the health and psychological problems associated with sexual repression) is hugely difficult to live with as a young American man walking down the street with a Chinese woman. In the US, I am a nerdy looking white guy, In China, I am a sexual predator. Holla!

Out On The Town

One of the biggest differences between life in China and life in the US, especially for younger people, is the difference in night life. This can be a big problem too. A good night out on the town can be a great cure for the stress and boredom that can accompany life in a foreign country. I think this is part of the reason (though clearly not the whole reason)that I hear how much people love it living abroad in places like France and Spain, while hearing more complaints than rave reviews about life in China. Many people make the mistake of thinking that China has no night life, and that it is boring here (I hear this from both Chinese and foreign people alike ). This is far from the truth, you just have to readjust what you consider to be "going out." Then its easy to discover that there is plenty to experience in these parts.


What would be considered standard night life in the US simply does not exist outside of the largest cities of China. Even in cities like Beijing and Shanghai, if you were to go out to bars after about 9pm Beijing time (its all Beijing time in China, no time zones, making for a weird time schedule in Tibet) you would find that the bar scene is almost exclusively exchange students, foreign teachers/workers, and backpackers, with a few new rich Chinese people out to show off their wealth. In the provinces and more rural communities bars tend to be the hangouts of ruffians, bastards, and prostitutes, and the occassional foreigners passing through. So the bar scene doesn't tend to be the most happening, and thus it is necessary to find other forms of entertainment.

DIGRESSION:

A quick side note on the term "bastard." In China this word is remarkably useful and can describe a wide range of men. I was astounded my first year in China how much I would here some of my most mousy and conservative of my students throw around the B-word. After finishing up a conversation about who their favorite pop-star was I would tell them I was considering going to a bar in town for a night and they would politely recommend that I don't go. When I would inquire as to why I shouldn't go out for a few drinks, they would promptly respond, "there are many (pause to wrap their minds and mouths around the new word) bastards there." This phraseology, clearly directly translated from a pocket dictionary, more than anything peaked my curiosity rather than deterring me. It is always funny to me the unfounded fear that so many people have of places they have never been. How do you know something is dangerous if you refuse to go see it? I wanted to confront these bastards head on and see what the true story was.


I discovered that what the students had said was pretty true, the bars and the discos in rural china, as well as many of the restaurants, and almost every motorcycle, are filled with bastards(Maximum capacity for one motorcycle around here must be like 8). But the bastards are far less harmful to other people than my poor students imagined. Basically a bastard is anyone who goes out after 8 o'clock at night to have a drink at a bar, disco, barbeque pit etc.... most likely wearing a leather jacket and tight jeans or a really awesome cheap suit(unless its summertime, in which case it would be difficult to find a bastard with a shirt on, even indoors, unless of course it was comfortably roled up exposing his well developed gut), sporting a cell phone they can't really afford, at least 3 packs of cigarettes (and the corresponding dental work), and a blood stream loaded with Baijiu (chinese liquor). The character of said bastards ranges from remarkably friendly to a little standoffish. They tend to be very macho, and pretty ignorant, but one thing is for sure, they love to talk to/at foreigners. I have spent about three years hanging with various bastards in different regions of China, never have I been in danger (though I have met a few men that have supposedly killed men with their bare hands, no joke, but these thugs don't hold a candle to the fear a group of smiley faced blood thirsty children can produce) and on the contrary I have been treated to alot of interesting and fun nights while in their company(which generally aid me with material for blogging). Would I consider myself a bastard? Absolutely!

Pop Quiz: Can you identify the Bastards?

Drinking Baijiu at dinnertime, maybe...

nipple pinching at dinner, probably...

(check out the composure of the guy to the left

still texting amid the chaos)

Shirtless pool playing outdoors after dark, most definitely!!

Anyway, bastards aside, I have found many other ways to go out and have a good time with legimate workmates and friends (Note: many my legitimate friends and workmates maybe bastards also, maybe even YOU), and I will keep a somewhat regular section in my blog of different ways I entertain myself Out On The Town.